Tuesday Musings

I was feeling sorry for myself when I started this post.

I was looking at old friend’s Facebook pages and how their lives have changed. Babies and men and marriage (sometimes divorce) and moves and careers and fun times had by all. And I was comparing myself to them and coming up short. The only big change in my life in the past several years has been my move up here. And that was almost 3(!!!) years ago. It hardly seems to count anymore.

But, then the Mama in me kicked in and I took a step back and a mental deep breath. Why on Earth am I comparing myself to anyone? I am awesome! (Remember what I said about my overly inflated ego?) But, irregardless of my complete awesomeness, the comparison still stands.

The only reason that the comparison matters is because I am bored. Bored with being in school, bored with thesis work, bored with being broke all the time, frustrated with being in this indefinite holding pattern.

I’m forcing myself to do something I don’t want to simply because “I’ve gone this far. Might as well keep on going.” And it’s true. And I know it. I’ve never had a whole lot of self-discipline and I’m having to acquire it the hard way.

Anybody want to write a thesis for me so I can get the heck outta grad school?

It’s time to count my blessings:
1. Brion: I don’t know what I did in this life or any past ones to deserve someone like him. He drives me crazy on a daily basis but there is no one on this planet that I would rather hang out with. He’s off working three hours away today.
2. Bubba: Athletic, gorgeous with personality plus. He’s evil and broncy but at least he’s interesting.
3. My jobs: I get paid (sometimes not enough, but paid) to do things I love.
4. Friends: I have great friends who love me and take great pleasure in harassing me.